for months upon months i had dreams of this shoot. white & flowers & more white & pretty girl with pretty hair & film. and it all finally fell into place. i was so into this that i decided to try my hand at a little floral work despite the fact that i can't even keep cactus alive, but everything seemed to work out beautifully. and michelle was made for this day. i couldn't sleep the night before. i kept imagining what we were about to create. the next morning, i packed my bag for the shoot and tucked my little camera under my arm and off i went. we began shooting and i finished off one roll. loaded the next roll, shot shot shot. then BOOM. the camera slipped out of my arm straight onto the concrete floor. i about vomited - bye bye sweet camera, nice knowing you. it was done for. and that whole roll of film i was shooting, too. gah! i'm an idiot! i about chopped off my stupid little fingers right then and there. Ask Jackie...I nearly lost my marbles, right?
luckily, i had my handy digital as back-up. and if i did anything right that day, this was it. michelle pulled me out of my funk. and besides, the girl knows how to work itttttt.
oh, and if you think this is all she can do, just you wait. we've got more michelle for you later this week, so get back here soon.
i've loved austin since childhood, and although i live relatively close, i don't typically get up there often for purposes of recreation. but when i do, i make it worth my while. this time we made several new friends on the street. and now, i think i'm a wee bit obsessed with this little thing called street photography. best part about austin? people just don't care. they really don't. you can be as creative and wild and boring and weird as you want and no one will judge you. everybody fits in. and because it's texas, folks are just plain friendly. i like it so, so much --- hope you will too!
i've mentioned it a time or two, but i'm in love with film. really! it's all i can think about. actually, it won my heart before i even knew what it was. i began to notice that i was drawn to very specific images. the light was different, and oh, the colors. these photos were organic and raw. they had a certain depth. soul, really. and then i realized it was film!
it's magical and it's intimidating and it's soft and honest. it's challenging, for sure --i feel like a different photographer when i'm shooting film. but i think it's refining me. i finally feel like i am hand crafting my images, and they're me. and i love love love it!
so here it is! a few of my favorites from my very first few rolls.
I have to tell you something about spending time with the Kruzies on this particular day. It changed me. For weeks, maybe even months prior to this day I had been feeling torn between expectations and demands and what I wanted for me. It has been nothing but frustrating and isolating. Self-caused. As much as I wanted it, I couldn't allow myself to be completely true to myself, almost as if I was physically holding myself back. And I couldn't get past me. Weirdest feeling.
And after a long holiday, I returned home -- one day away from the beginning of a new year. And then early the very next morning, I walked into the Kruzie's home. And we took it minute by minute, letting it all unfold on its own and they just did their thing. And it was beautiful. And real. Everything I wanted, so much so that it overwhelmed me.
It was exactly the situation I had been searching for -- and I recognized a little bit of myself. And it was okay.